Omer 2024 Day 1

Omer Introduction

Omer Overview

The seven-week process of counting the omer prompts us to reflect on what the journey to freedom stirs in each of us. Kabbalah (Jewish mysticism) attaches seven sephirot (attributes of God) to each of the seven weeks of the omer, and one to each day, to facilitate our reflection and spiritual growth.

The first day of the omer is chesed within chesed, lovingkindness within lovingkindness.

Day 1: Chesed within Chesed, Lovingkindness within Lovingkindness

This morning, ​I asked my 6-year-old, "What is love?"
She gave me a quizzical look, but thought about it for a minute before answering, "You already know."

You already know. This who​le period of counting the omer is a study in thinking deeply about concepts we​ already know. We know lovingkindness when we feel it, just as we can feel the loneliness of its absence.

I tell my daughters I love them all the time. Sometimes I yell it loudly through the car window as they are walking into school (they are not yet old enough to be embarrassed by that), sometimes I say it quietly, or off-handedly, just a comfortable part of any sentence. Sometimes, I say "I have to tell you a secret" and then whisper it in their ear. That's my favorite, because they both look incredulously at me and respond with, "I know! That's not a secret." And, of course, they're right, but I like how closely they listen to my whisper in that moment, because what I have to say is very important and very personal, even if I sometimes also shout it for the whole schoolyard to hear.

This morning, I came back to my daughter to press her to think more deeply. Not just about what we already know about love, but about what it means. I urged her gently, "I want to know what you think."
She thought again for a moment. "You can't love anybody if you don't love yourself," she said.

It reminded me of the flight safety instructions at the beginning of every flight: if the cabin loses air pressure, oxygen masks will deploy in front of you. Put your own mask on before helping those around you.

Lovingkindness in lovingkindness requires us to love ourselves first. Showing ourselves lovingkindness means that we trust that we are deserving of the love and kindness that we receive from others. It is a measure of self-respect. But loving only ourselves would be selfish and narcissistic. We love ourselves so that we have a self-assured foundation from which to give love to others, just as we secure our own oxygen mask before helping others with theirs. Lovingkindness in lovingkindness is about being in relationship. Love is sometimes big and loud, and sometimes quiet. It is both directed inward, creating a sense of calm and worth within ourselves, and directed outward to the people for whom we care.

As we work our way through the days of the omer, we will need to look both internally to our own selves, and externally to our relationships with others and with God. We need to be kind to ourselves as we reflect on the ways we may not fully measure up to the omer's attributes of God, and show others kindness as they grow as well. To do that, we begin with a foundation of love for ourselves and for others.