Hardening Our Own Hearts

Last week, I listened to one of my favorite podcasts, Chutzpod! with Rabbi Shira Stutman and Joshua Malina (from the West Wing). The latest episode, titled "Hardening Our Own Hearts -- And Pharaoh's, Too" was a look at Parashat Bo and the final three plagues of the Exodus. It is a great episode and I highly recommend it. But when I clicked on the title to listen to it, I was expecting something different.

Over the years - in Torah study classes or drashes and again in this latest podcast episode - I've heard and discussed at length what it means for God to harden Pharaoh's heart. We've talked about free will, different translations of the word for "hardened" (toughened, strengthened, made heavy), why God might have hardened Pharaoh's heart - important and difficult conversations that are always worth having. This is more or less the ground covered in Chutzpod!

However, what struck me about the title of the episode, and what I was expecting to hear, was an exploration of the plagues as a way of hardening our own hearts, both the Hebrew slaves and ours today. Because while slavery prepared us for many hardships, it could not prepare us to handle difficult situations in which we have the power. Who are we when we are in control?

The plagues increase in devastation over the course of the Exodus narrative. When the Nile turns to blood, we consider it justice for the babies who were drowned in its waters. When frogs hop in the people's beds and on their heads, here, there, and everywhere, we sing a fun song about it. Even in parashat Bo, as the plagues worsen, we see the locusts eat the last of the food in the land and I think it's fair to say that's a reminder to the Egyptians that they would have starved long ago without Joseph. But then comes the terror of absolute darkness and the crushing, wailing despair of the death of the firstborn. There is no silly Seder song for the last plague. Miriam doesn't lead the Hebrews in joyous song and dance, like she does after the Egyptian army is drowned. No, as the final plague approaches, the Israelites sit in their houses and pray that the lamb's blood on their doors will protect them from death. We contemplate the price of freedom.

In our freedom, we will experience thirst and hunger, infestation, disease, and war, and unlike in slavery, we will have the power to act for ourselves. How do we make free choices? How do we grapple with those situations and the consequences of the choices we make? How do we harden our hearts when we have to make a difficult decision that will hurt someone else? What does it mean to be in control of our own lives and what are the limits of our power? How do we understand and deal with the things that are still outside of our control? As we prepare to leave Egypt and become a free people, it strikes me that maybe the plagues are not only meant to punish the Egyptians, or as a show of God's might, and maybe God doesn't only harden Pharaoh's heart. Maybe we need to be hardened too.