The Importance of Wandering

On June 18, 2011, just 10 weeks after I stepped from the mikvah, I was privileged to give the d'var Torah at my husband's childhood synagogue. The parsha was Shelach. At this point in the Torah, the Israelites have made it to the borders of the promised land, and they send in 12 spies to scope out the situation. The spies find a beautiful land flowing with milk and honey, with grapevines so large that it takes many men to carry them back to the camp. But they also find a land filled with formidable inhabitants. Ten of the spies report back that the land is good, but not worth the fights with the “giants” (Numbers 13:32) who live there. Only two, Joshua and Caleb, insist that settling the land will be worth it and that with God's help they can settle there. The people side with the ten spies, and for this lack of faith, God dooms them to 40 years wandering in the wilderness.

Unfortunately, I've lost the copy of the d'var Torah I gave in 2011, but I remember that it was about fear, wandering, and finding your place in the world. We moved a lot at that time in our lives - for jobs, for grad school, and then for jobs and grad school again. Between 2010-2015, we lived in 4 cities and 6 apartments. We've been settled in the DC-area for over ten years now, and with our wandering days behind us, it seemed like a good time to revisit the themes of that old d'var Torah.

The Israelites let their fear keep them from the life God had promised. They saw themselves as small and insignificant, “like grasshoppers” (Numbers 13:33), and let their own insecurities cloud their judgement. The 40 years of wandering was a punishment that helped to reshape their thinking. A people who can survive a nomadic life in the desert can do anything. While not a punishment, my own years of wandering helped clarify my values and strengthen my community ties. Nashville and Birmingham taught us the value of small, engaged Jewish communities. Philadelphia showed us the power of walkable communities. We learned the differences between areas with many transplants and those with more homegrown populations, and the importance of pride of place. Everywhere we went, we joined a synagogue, defying the demographic trend of young 20-somethings not embracing memberships. We didn't let the possibility of moving away in the future keep us from engaging in the present. In each place, we built relationships, celebrated holidays, and did the daily work of discovering who we are and what we wanted from life.

Now, more than a decade into our time in the DC area, I see how those wandering years were not just transitional, they were formative. They taught us to be brave enough to try something new and grounded enough to keep showing up. Like the Israelites in the wilderness, we learned who we were as we traveled. Looking back, I think the heart of that long-lost d'var Torah was this: fear tells you to wait, but faith tells you to begin. Wandering gave us the wisdom to know when to pause and when to move forward. And now, as we stand more firmly rooted in the life we've built, I’m grateful for the places we’ve been and the courage it took to journey through them.

Omer 2025 Day 49

Day 48

Day 49: The Torah
Malchut in Malchut, Leadership in Leadership

Of course our final book is the one that earned us the name "the People of the Book." The Torah is a profound guide to the complexities of leadership. There are explicit instructions, such as the "dos" and "don'ts" of the Ten Commandments. And then there are the lessons we can draw from the detailed lives of the individuals throughout the text. How to welcome the stranger like Abraham and Sarah, while also treating those in our household with respect. How to be more humble than Joseph, but maintain his cool head under pressure. How to overcome a "slow tongue" to speak truth to power, like Moses. 

For all their great accomplishments, our leaders are also shown to have flaws. No one is perfect and the Torah doesn't pretend otherwise. We're not given superheroes; we are given people in all their complexity. The Torah doesn’t just tell us what to do; it shows us how to be. It challenges us to rise to the occasion, not to dwell on our missteps, but to use them as opportunities to grow. And it reminds us that leadership is not about being perfect, but about being faithful to ourselves, our values, and our communities.

Omer 2025 Day 48

Day 47

Day 48: The Giver by Lois Lowry
Yesod in Malchut, Connection in Leadership

I can't think of this book without recalling how much I disliked my 7th grade Language Arts class. I remember three things from that class:

1. I watched The Princess Bride for the first time. It remains one of my favorite movies of all time.

2. This was my first experience with someone trying to explain raising children in an interfaith household to somehow be proud Jews who also celebrate Christmas. I wasn't even Jewish at the time and still I was not convinced. 

3. I read The Giver, which I enjoyed so much that I read beyond the assigned reading each week. That shouldn't have been a problem, except that our teacher wanted us to stop at pre-assigned chapters so that she could test our ability to predict what would happen next. This method disrupted the narrative flow of the novel, forcing me to re-read chapters again to recall details of the story each time I was allowed to read the next chapter. It put me in a position to feel bad about my love of reading and to lie about having read more than I was supposed to read. And it turned the class discussion of the novel into a resentment-building experience that was slowing down my enjoyment of the novel, instead of a generative discussion that could add to my understanding of the story.

Moving on...

The titular "Giver" in Lois Lowry's novel is not a traditional leader, publicly in command of society. The Giver is largely invisible in the community, with a job that is purposefully unknown and unseen. His role demonstrates the importance of leaders as responsible for maintaining our connection to the past. Even a society that has removed difference, color, and emotion from the world recognizes the importance of maintaining a connection to those things, having at least on person who understands the foundation on which their society was built. The Giver's role is not just to remember, but to carry the painful memories so that others don’t have to feel them. Without these memories, it's clear that the rest of the people lose not just their history, but their humanity. Ultimately, a good leader needs to not only maintain a connection to the past, but the people's connections to each other.

Omer 2025 Day 47

Day 46 | Day 48

Day 47: Tevye the Dairyman by Sholem Aleichem
Hod in Malchut, Glory/Humility in Leadership

If you love Fiddler on the Roof, you'll love the source material. The stories of Tzeitel, Hodl, and Chava are well-known from the play/film. Tzeitel, the eldest daughter, rejects the financial comfort of an arranged marriage in order to marry for love. Hodl also marries for love and does so within the Jewish community, though her chosen husband applies Jewish teaching broadly in support of workers' rights, and she leaves her family to support his work. Chava finds love outside the Jewish faith and follows her heart, despite being cut off from her family and the Jewish community as a result. Their story, taken together, shows a progression of boundary-pushing, testing the limits of what Tevye (and the community) will accept.

What I love about the book is that it continues telling the story of the fourth and fifth daughters. The clean narrative of the first three becomes a little messy and starts to turn back on itself, revealing a cyclical nature to the story. The fourth and fifth daughters, Shprintze and Beilke, also find themselves contemplating love, comfort, and social order as they prepare for their own marriages. Their stories are each heartbreaking in their own ways. Beilke, in particular, highlights the ways that our responsibilities to our family and our community change over time.

What strikes me most about Tevye in these later stories is the way he embodies glory and humility in leadership. At first, he is certain that he knows what will be best for his daughters. At first, he is a poor dairyman who dreams of becoming rich. By the end, though, he is much more willing to trust his daughters, even when their decisions confound him. He learns to accept uncertainty. He takes pride in his place in life and values the hard work that has made him a pillar of his community, even if it has not made him a rich man.

We live in a world of leaders who are increasingly polarized idealogues. We harden our positions, believing that strength comes from unwavering conviction. But Tevye's daughters teach us to question the status quo and advocate for ourselves, and Tevye teaches us to let our traditions help us grow and change, rather than hold us back.

Bonus reading: For a "behind the scenes" look at Tevye and the writings of Sholem Aleichem, check out The Worlds of Sholem Aleichem by Jeremy Dauber.

Omer 2025 Day 46

Day 45 | Day 47

Day 46: Endurance: Shackelton's Incredible Voyage by Alfred Lansing
Netzach in Malchut, Endurance in Leadership

This book was recommended to me by a colleague and it did not disappoint. It tells the story of the Endurance and its crew of 27 men, led by Sir Ernest Shackelton, as they attempted an expedition to Antarctica. The ship was trapped and then crushed by ice and all 28 men abandoned ship to camp on the ice until the currents could push them closer to land and they could hopefully row their three ship's boats to land. Since it's a matter of history, I don't think it's a spoiler to tell you that all 28 men survived the voyage, in large part because of Shackelton's leadership. From his initial choice of crewmen who would complement each other's skills and personalities, to his management of potentially undermining crewmembers, and, of course, his life-and-death decision-making, Shackelton led his men with a sense of responsibility for their lives that often flew in the face of their dire circumstances. He spent time building trust and camaraderie that ultimately helped them endure unimaginable hardship together.

Omer 2025 Day 45

Day 44 | Day 46

Day 45: Change Sings: A Children's Anthem by Amanda Gorman
Tiferet in Malchut, Compassion in Leadership

This children's book really demonstrates why Amanda Gorman is the youngest inaugural poet in US history. She is able to distill big concepts, like compassion and difference into a compelling story. The illustrations by Loren Long are really the key to bringing Gorman's words to life. 

The book is a call to action, not just for kids, but for us all, to be leaders in our communities. Gorman's character in the book demonstrates leadership not just by doing the work of improving her community, but by bringing others into that work with her. Their leadership is rooted in compassion for the people around them. They see litter and are compelled to clean it up. They see people who are hungry and are compelled to feed them. They see outcasts and are compelled to welcome them into the community. In the book, it seems so obvious that those are the right steps, but we all know how easily we walk past these things every day without acting. 

Especially in our current political climate, I look to this book for a vision of a world with compassionate leaders, with people who thought of others and let that guide them into action.

Omer 2025 Day 44

Day 43 | Day 45

Day 44: Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes
Gevurah in Malchut, Bravery in Leadership

Don Quixote is a timeless classic. In his fantastical adventures, he battles windmills he believes are giants, sets out to rescue damsels in distress, and vows to protect the downtrodden, all in the name of chivalry. Though clearly delusional, he manages to persuade his neighbor, Sancho Panza, to join him as his loyal squire. Despite his misguided quests, Don Quixote’s earnestness and unwavering idealism gradually inspire compassion among the people, reminding us that even bravery can be deeply moving, even when it's misplaced. His leadership, while unconventional, springs from a place of courage and conviction.

Omer 2025 Day 43

Day 42 | Day 44

Day 43: The Princess Bride by William Goldman
Chesed in Malchut, Loving-kindness in Leadership

This is one of the rare instances where I think the movie is just as good as the book. The voice in my head while I was reading this book was definitely Peter Falk's. Princess Buttercup, despite not being born to leadership, understands love and kindness in ways that make her a better leader than Prince Humperdinck ever could be. While Humperdinck was born to leadership and has all the power that comes with his position, he has none of the chesed - the love and kindness - that draw people to Buttercup. Her leadership is rooted in love, while his is driven by ego.

Omer 2025 Day 42

Day 41 | Day 43

Day 42: Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln by Doris Kearns Goodwin
Malchut in Yesod, Leadership in Connection

I’ve read many books about the life and presidency of Abraham Lincoln, and Team of Rivals stands out as one of the best, and certainly one of the most influential. It offers a powerful look at how Lincoln constructed his Cabinet, not by surrounding himself with yes-men, but by intentionally including political opponents and skeptics, even those who had challenged him in the Republican primary and questioned his capacity to lead. To forge this unlikely group into a functional and effective team, Lincoln had to build genuine personal relationships, earn trust, and create space for their expertise—while still maintaining his authority as their leader. His ability to hold the egos and pride of these men, and to channel their talents toward saving the Union, is a testament to his extraordinary leadership. Lincoln’s willingness to embrace diverse opinions underscores a fundamental truth of our democracy: building bridges isn’t just admirable, it’s necessary for good governance.

Omer 2025 Day 41

Day 40 | Day 42

Day 41: After Abel and Other Stories by Michal Lemberger
Yesod in Yesod, Connection in Foundation

The Torah is the foundational text of the Jewish people. Yet, there are points in the Torah that leave us wanting more, and that is where midrash comes in. There are many different definitions of midrash. During my fellowship at Milton Gottesman Jewish Day School in 2014 (then JPDS), a Judaics teacher I was working with explained midrash to her 5th grade class as "oral Torah" and encouraged them to treat midrash with the same weight they give to the Torah itself. More often, however, I hear midrash defined as "rabbinic stories." Either way, midrash is meant to provide more context to the Torah. For example, after Cain and Abel's sacrifices to God, "Cain said to his brother Abel … and when they were in the field, Cain set upon his brother Abel and killed him" (Genesis 4:8). The ellipses in the text has spawned a whole host of midrash attempting to answer the question of what transpired. It is a way of giving voice to voiceless moments and often missing from the Torah are the voices of women. After Abel imagines as modern midrash the voices of some of the women on the periphery of the Tanakh. Lemberger gives color and motivation to women who are otherwise only briefly mentioned. What, for example, did Eve think and feel after Cain killed Abel? The story of Eve reflecting on life and death, marriage and motherhood, in the wake of her son's death is just one profound example of how Lemberger centers women's voices in our foundational texts.

Omer 2025 Day 40

Day 39 | Day 41

Day 40: The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab
Hod in Yesod, Glory/Humility in Connection

In The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue, we meet Addie, a young woman in 1700s France, who makes a deal with a devil to escape an unwanted marriage. Predictably, the fine print of the deal isn't exactly as Addie anticipated, and she finds that she has been granted eternal youth, but cursed to be forgotten by everyone she meets as soon as she leaves the room. As Addie learns the limits of her deal over her centuries of life, she discovers that, while she can't be remembered, she can plant the seeds of an idea that will last beyond her brief encounters. She attains a kind of glory and lasting connection through the inspiration she gives to those who are otherwise doomed to forget her. She inspires art, music, and philosophy that will always be attributed to someone else, but is nevertheless unmistakably also hers.

Addie’s story demonstrates that being remembered isn’t the only way to leave a mark. Influence can be indirect and invisible, and still profoundly meaningful. The book prompts us to wonder how our own lives might spark ideas and creativity in others, and to reflect on the ways brief encounters with others have shaped each us as individuals.

Omer 2025 Day 39

Day 38 | Day 40

Day 39: The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank
Netzach in Yesod, Endurance in Connection

"I don't want to have lived in vain like most people. I want to be useful or bring enjoyment to all people, even those I've never met. I want to go on living even after my death!" -Anne Frank

When I was in 7th grade, my first class of the day was a study hall called "Skills." Different teachers chose to use this time for different things - some told students they could complete homework, others (like my 8th grade Skills teacher) had no rules and I ended up playing a lot of card games that year. But my 7th grade Skills teacher, Mr. Zverbilis, maintained absolute silence by turning the class into an independent reading hour. We could choose any book we wanted and read it at our own pace. Whenever we completed a book, we were expected to spend time in class writing an essay about the book before choosing another book. I loved reading, so this class was mostly well-suited to me. Yet, I only remember two of the books that I read that year - White Fang by Jack London and The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank. Honestly, at that age, I should have read both with an adult providing context, but here we are.

Sometime that spring, I pulled Anne Frank's diary from the reading display at the front of our school library and started reading without any context. I hadn't grown up Jewish and my school didn't have a standardized Holocaust education curriculum, so I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Some of the Language Arts teachers in my school taught Number the Stars by Lois Lowry, but not mine. With this complete lack of Holocaust awareness, I started quietly reading Anne Frank. It was compelling and heartfelt and relatable - all the reasons Anne Frank has become the standard book to begin students' Holocaust education. And then I got to the end. I read the epilogue in a completely silent classroom surrounded by 7th graders who were not reading about the Holocaust, and just absolutely sobbed through it. Anne Frank's life, her murder, and her lasting legacy are a testament to the idea of endurance in connection. Our ability to connect with her is what makes her story endure.

I don't always have a call to action in these posts. Most of the time, I like to let them speak for themselves and have you take what you will from them. But today, I want to encourage everyone, especially if you live in a state or school district without Holocaust education, to contact your representatives to advocate for it - your principals and superintendents and school board members, city councils and mayors and governors. We are missing out on a vitally important piece of world history and, more importantly, human understanding, when we don't learn the history and human cost of the Holocaust.

Omer 2025 Day 38

Day 37 | Day 39

Day 38: Kosher Nation: Why More and More of America's Food Answers to a Higher Authority by Sue Fishkoff
Tiferet in Yesod, Balance in Connection

"Kashrut is a force that both unifies and separates. It identifies its practitioners as part of the Jewish community and ties them to thousands of years of Jewish history, while at the same time setting them apart from those who do not keep kosher."

I first read this book in 2014, after I had been keeping kosher for a couple of years. A colleague recently described this book as, "the book that makes people stop keeping kosher," and she's not entirely wrong. I did keep kosher for another decade after reading this book, but gave it up last year, and part of that decision was because of this book.

When we started keeping kosher, it was part of a larger move toward observance in our lives. We started gradually - keeping "kosher style" (not mixing dairy and meat, but not necessarily buying kosher food), then progressing to "ingredient kosher" (checking the ingredients on the products we bought to make sure there wasn't anything unkosher in them, like pork gelatin in marshmallows), and finally investing in two sets of plates and only buying hechshered (certified kosher) products. It was a lot, but it felt deeply meaningful and not overwhelming, even when we lived in areas with fewer kosher options. Keeping kosher made Judaism an active part of our lives at least three times a day. It required a certain level of understanding of Jewish law and Jewish life. Hosting or accepting an invitation for Shabbat dinner necessitates a conversation about the personal level of kashrut for each individual. Everyone seems to have developed different rules for themselves about what they will or won't eat outside of their own home. Of course, some only eat kosher certified foods anywhere, meaning limiting themselves to kosher restaurants and kosher homes. But most non-Orthodox American Jews have developed their own systems - eating pescatarian out, only eating "cold contact" foods in restaurants, eating kosher chicken in an unkosher home. Despite the many complications of keeping kosher, there is something simple in the order and structure it provides. But I love how we each make kashrut our own.

Of course, I know Jews who require a hechsher on everything. I know Jews who eat bacon, but no other pork products. I know Jews from Maryland who make an exception for crab, the state food. I know Jews who will eat chicken parm, but not a cheeseburger. And while we might internally bat an eye at those people, each of those tweaks represents deep personal thought that the person has put into their diet because of their Judaism. Each choice elevates the act of eating from simple sustenance to a reflection on Jewish text. Kosher Nation examines how we have adapted kashrut to the modern food supply chain - really, how we have taken this ancient communal standard of eating and globalized it to certify everyday products and send mashgichim (kashrut inspectors) to factories in China and all over the world. And whether or not you keep kosher, that's a fascinating story.

Omer 2025 Day 37

Day 36 | Day 38

Day 37: Madeline by Ludwig Bemelmans
Gevurah in Yesod, Bravery in Foundation

"The smallest one was Madeline. She was not afraid of mice. She loved winter, snow, and ice. To the tiger in the zoo, Madeline just said, 'pooh, pooh.'"

Madeline, Madeline's Rescue, and Madeline in London were my daughter's favorite books for a while when she was little. We read them on repeat and I can still recite the intro from memory. Unlike some of her other favorite books (cough cough Berenstain Bears cough cough), I never tried to talk her into reading something else when she pulled a Madeline book off the shelf. I was always happy to read about the old house in Paris. Why? Because Madeline is brave.

She is unafraid to take risks. She is always willing to speak her mind, even to adults, and stands up for what's right. She is fiercely loyal to her friends. She is exactly the kind of role model I wanted my daughters to have in their earliest years. Every time my older daughter climbs on top of the monkey bars, I can't help but think of Madeline balancing on the edge of the bridge, both of them frightening me and Ms. Clavel as they test the limits of their own abilities. When my younger daughter offers a hug when her friends are upset, I see echoes of Madeline rallying her classmates to support their friend Pepito after his lonely move to London. The Madeline books were more than just fun bedtime reading; they offered my daughters a blueprint for bravery in their own lives.

Omer 2025 Day 36

Day 35 | Day 37

Day 36: A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman
Chesed in Yesod, Loving-kindness in Connection

Fredrik Backman has a gift for writing prickly characters with hearts of gold and none exemplifies this more than Ove. Grieving and alone, Ove has either lost or pushed away everyone who has tried to get close to him. With no one left to live for, he decides to die, but he can't quite seem to do it. No matter how he tries to isolate himself, he keeps finding things to fix or people to help. New neighbors, stray cats, troubled teens. Through the undeterred kindness of these people, we slowly begin to see the genuine care beneath Ove's surly exterior. As he develops connections with an unlikely group of people, he finds a new meaning and purpose.

Omer 2025 Day 35

Day 34 | Day 36

Day 35: Let There Be Light by Liana Finck
Malchut in Hod, Leadership in Glory/Humility

Finck reimagines Creation and the story of Genesis as a graphic novel with God as a woman struggling with love and doubt. It compels us to ask how our relationship with God might be different if we thought of God as a woman? If we thought of God as struggling with insecurities, just wanting to be understood? 

What I love about this particular interpretation of the Akeda (the story of the Binding of Isaac) pictured is the footnote where Finck suggests God's motivation for this sacrifice - the juxtaposition of creation and destruction. In her imagining, Finck has made Abraham an artist whose life's work has been about creating art, and the Akeda is imagined as a window into destruction. What would it mean to destroy something we spent a lifetime creating, something precious to us? This footnote casts God as a teacher, a leader, giving Abraham a lesson in creation and destruction that God learned the hard way with Noah and the Flood. How do we teach others the hard lessons we have learned, the lessons that have humbled us and made us commit to doing better?

Omer 2025 Day 34

Day 33 | Day 35

Day 34: The Tapestry of Jewish Time by Rabbi Nina Beth Cardin
Yesod in Hod, Foundation in Glory/Humility

I'll begin today with one of those nostalgic stories that makes me feel old: Back in my day, we checked out books by writing our name on the library card in a little sleeve inside the book. When I was converting to Judaism, this system was still in place in the Nashville Public Library system and my name must have been in every book about Judaism they had. Eternal thanks to whoever made the decision to include such a fantastic collection of Jewish books in the Nashville Library. One of the many books I checked out then was The Tapestry of Jewish Time by Rabbi Nina Beth Cardin, who I had the pleasure to meet a couple years ago when she came to Olam Tikvah as the Scholar in Residence. This book is one of her earlier works and, honestly, should be required reading for Jews. Her ability to lay out the complexities of the Jewish calendar and conception of time in Judaism is unmatched. And without the foundational understanding of how time shapes Jewish life, it's difficult to experience a connected Jewish life.

Omer 2025 Day 33

Day 32

Day 33: This is Real and You Are Completely Unprepared by Rabbi Alan Lew
Hod in Hod, Glory/Humility in Glory/Humility

You'll find this book on most rabbis' bookshelves and most Jewish libraries. It has become a staple of preparing for the High Holidays. In the summer of 2018, my friend Abby gathered a group of moms with young children to form a book club. She decided that in the bustle of parenting and cooking Rosh Hashanah meals, we also needed to carve out time for spiritual preparedness. She's very wise.

I started reading this book when my oldest was three or four months old, mostly on my pumping break at work. It invites deep personal introspection and offers a roadmap for how to engage with the sacred time built into the High Holiday season - the month before Rosh Hashanah, the Shabbat before, the days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, the final service of Yom Kippur, and even extending into Sukkot. The High Holidays are a time of glory and humility, when we feel closest to God and the most humbled. The act of teshuvah (repentance/returning) forces us to face the ways we didn't live up to our best selves in the past year and commit to doing better. It's both humbling to apologize for our faults, and glorious to seize that opportunity to grow.

Omer 2025 Day 32

Day 31 | Day 33

Day 32: The Red Tent by Anita Diamant
Netzach in Hod, Endurance in Glory/Humility

The glimpse of Dinah's life that we see in the Torah practically begs us to ask more about her life. What was it like to be Jacob's only daughter? What was her relationship with her brothers? What happened to her after Shechem? In answer to these questions, Anita Diamant gave us The Red Tent, a modern imagining of Dinah's life and legacy. Diamant gives this complicated character a voice, strength, and purpose. Her story doesn't end abruptly and violently, but plays out fully. Dinah endures in our imaginations beyond the text.

Omer 2025 Day 31

Day 30 | Day 32

Day 31: Here I Am by Jonathan Safran Foer
Tiferet in Hod, Beauty/Balance in Glory/Humility

Here I Am was published in 2016, but I didn't read it until last year, and I honestly don't know how it would have felt to read it before October 7. He perfectly captures the relationship between Israel and the Diaspora and the larger politics of the world. But setting aside the fictional, but realistic geopolitical backdrop of the story, it is an intimate and thoughtful look at a family that is slowly falling apart. It asks us all to examine how our own insecurities hold us back from maintaining connections with the ones we love, and how relationships grow and change. It asks how we balance our responsibilities and how we hold the different pieces of ourselves together. In doing all that, Here I Am shows us the beauty in the messy chaos of life. It shows us redemption in humility and the resilience of love, even as it changes. 

It's a great book, but be warned, it's not one to listen to in the car with your kids!